Talking about desire, shame, and sex, among other taboo conversations, has been a part of my life since I was a teenager. My first college thesis was all about what people thought of topics like childbirth, masturbation, and circumcision. The anthropologist in me has always wanted to learn about and understand people.

I show up in my community as a pansexual, mediator, teacher, and former midwife who practices ethical non-monogamy in my partnership of over 25 years. I am a mother of two thoughtful and amazing boys whom I strive to raise into compassionate and attuned men. Logically, parenting and helping new parents is a passion of mine—both for their benefit and to nurture the children, which helps the little girl inside me feel taken care of, too.

Growing up in a split family from a young age with four sisters and one brother, I had plenty of time around people, so it's no surprise how much I value connection and intimacy. I'm also a middle child, and for as long as I can remember, I have valued harmony. I come with a deep sense of belonging and bring vulnerability, humor, and a big dose of awkwardness, and I invite those around me to do the same.

Around 2020, my world came crashing down, and me with it. As many folks do during difficult times, I was tasked with picking up the pieces to make a new mosaic out of my life. My deep friendships, community, and family really pulled me through in so many ways. Creating space for my own nourishment as well as others’ brings me so much peace and purpose to my life; it is a way of showing my gratitude to be a part of this place.

Intimacy coaching brings me so much hope for the world and saved my own marriage. I work diligently in my own marriage to keep things curious and spicy. My husband and I joined a group of four other couples during a very challenging time in our relationship. The group leader was a Somatica Coach and took us through many embodied, experiential practices and discussions that helped us learn about our core wounds and desires and how to ask for what we want and know our capacities and boundaries. These tools really helped us, and I know they can help others, too.

- Melanya Gonshorowski